Cross Cultural Relationship - 4 Tips For Blending With The Family

One of the biggest challenges of dealing with a cross-cultural relationship is hitting a favourable equation with your extended family. If they are not a very open-minded set of people, it won't be easy for you and neither will it be easy for them. However, it may be important to your partner that his family and you can blend in together, so appreciate his sentiment in trying, and be aware of a few things if you want your cross cultural relationship to bloom.

• Initial Hostility Not Directed At 'You'

To begin with, in a cross cultural relationship, you need to be prepared for some level of initial hostility or discomfort. The family, and especially his/her parents, may have had a more traditional expectation from his partner. Since you obviously don't fit the bill, you may feel judged and rejected. However, be mature about this, if you can. They are not judging you the individual, only you as a representative of your culture, and the fact that you are not what they expected. If you are patient, they might get over this initial hurdle and begin to appreciate your personality and qualities.

• Be Sensitive To Their Values and Customs

You need to make a special effort to be sensitive to his/her family's values, culture and traditions even if they are not prepared to do the same. Remember that you and your partner had the capability and the perspective to be able to choose someone from another culture. They have got forced into accepting the choice, and may not be as broad-minded as you. So, considering an example, if his/her family has a custom where one is required to bow before the elders, see if you can adopt it while you are with them. You may even be required to dress in a certain way. These are small things that can help you bridge a big cultural gap. If they see that you are making an effort to blend in with them and respect their sentiments, you may in turn earn a lot of respect from the family. Remember cross cultural relationships are more demanding and require greater understanding of your partners culture and values.

• He Is Still On Your Side

No matter what treatment you face from your partner's parents and other family members, don't start to equate your partner with them. Remember, he/she is not 'one of them.' He/she is on your side just as much as theirs, so it is best if you take him in confidence and get his/her help to get over this hurdle. This is not easy on him/her either, so if you take out your frustrations on him/her, it will not be fair and will do your cross-cultural relationship no good.

• You Are Who You Are

In any relationship and specially in a cross cultural relationship, you need to accept that no matter how hard you try, if they are not willing to take a step forward, you will never be able to gain the respect of his/her family. So, don't bend over backwards trying to please them. If you are seriously uncomfortable participating in a certain custom or behaving in a certain way, don't get pushed into it. The first person you should be talking to is your partner. Communicate how you are feeling, and if you are too shy or embarrassed confronting his/her family, let him/her do it on your behalf. Finally, they have to learn to look beyond their differences and respect you for who you are. If that doesn't happen, don't be totally disheartened. You may still have your partner's support, which is essentially all you need to make your cross-cultural relationship work.

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Chinese Dating and Finding True Love

Globalization has brought interracial dating to become more popular these days as more and more people move to China and vice-versa. Thanks to technology, dating expats has now become easier and cross-cultural relationships are flourishing more than ever.

Chinese dating and finding true love is affected by this global shift in dating. Many Chinese men and women find themselves falling in love with someone who comes from another part of the world speaking another language and from a different cultural background. Some have been able to answer the question, how can I find true love? and yet, many are still seeking for their one true love.

Here are some tips on dating for men and women to help keep the love alive if you are in a multi-cultural relationship:

1. Respect. This comes when dating expats and if both of you come from totally different cultures. Remember that cross-cultural relationships only work when both parties have mutual respect for each other's differences and if both can find a way to merge the two cultures together. Chinese people have one of the oldest traditions and cultures that have been around for quite some time so expect your Chinese partner to be really firm with some practices and tradition.


2. Learn how to deal with the parents. There are many traditional Chinese parents who are not open to their son or daughter dating someone outside their race. Chinese parents and even grandparents can often cause trouble in the relationship specially if you're dating or in a relationship with the first born son. First born sons are the next Patriarchs of the family and much pressure is put on them to do well for the family's survival. There are many stories of women who married first born Chinese males that were treated badly by their in-laws. Put your relationship first and agree on a plan to deal with your in-laws or parents.


3. Be open, don't criticize. Just because your partner has some quirky traditions or ways that are not known or practiced in your culture doesn't mean that you have to condemn or criticize it. Learn to be open and you will be able to answer the question how can I find true love? and find out how interesting across-cultural relationship can be.


4. Make an effort to learn each other's cultural norms and nuances. In Chinese culture, language is very important so you might need to learn how to speak the language if you want to get to know and understand your partner's family and relatives. Learning each other's cultures to avoid committing faux pas or further embarrassments to your mate in social situations is one of the best things you can do when dating expats.

The Chinese culture is rich in tradition and norms that you have to live with as part of being in a cross-cultural relationship. The question how can I find true love? can be answered by making sure that you follow some of these tips on dating for men and women who are in an interracial relationship. Remember that at the end of the day, a relationship that is bound to last need both parties to work on it together by compromising and respecting each other's differences.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lori_Abela

Why Do Thai Girls Love Western Men?

Western men flock in droves to Thai Girls and I am sure you could come up with a lot of reasons why you would want to have a relationship with them. But you may ask yourself - do Thai girls actually want to be with Western men?

The answer is a resounding YES, they do want Western men! Here are a number of reasons why Thai Girls are attracted to us:

1. We seem to care a lot more about them. Thai men (keep in mind this is a generalization) often don't seem to care all that much about their partners, and Thai women often complain that Thai men don't pay enough attention to them.


2. Although there are naturally exceptions, Western men have a reputation of being more reliable and loyal to their wives. A lot of Thai men have been brought up in an environment where it is completely normal to use prostitutes and sleep around with as many women as possible, whether they are married or not. This leaves a lot of Thai women feeling worthless, insecure and worried about the future. Western men are seen as more faithful and loyal.


3. Often Thai men will, upon reaching middle age and achieving some career or business success, quite openly take a Mia Noi (a "second wife" or mistress). This is usually a pretty, very young girl, often barely out of High School. They set her up in an apartment, buy her a car, and show her off at parties with friends. This creates a lot of anguish and sadness for the wife who sits at home looking after their children, she feels she is being treated like a mere maid. As this a widely practiced and acceptable custom (among men) in Thailand a lot of Thai women are deeply disappointed by Thai men and seek relationships with more reliable, honest and committed Westerners.


4. A lot of Western men in their middle ages are quite comfortable in their financial situation. Life is tough in Thailand, and there is no social security or welfare system. Wages are low and the future always looks dangerous especially for Thai women once they pass the age of 25. So they naturally look to some security and a more settled lifestyle which a financially secure Western man can provide. In return, they devote their love and future to the Western man, and often look after him in the later years - when his Western wife may be dissatisfied with her life, leaves him, and decides she wants to "find" herself and be fulfilled etc.


5. Thai men are seldom being brought up to help their wives at home at all. Although most Thai girls are happy to be a homemaker and look after their husbands and children, they certainly appreciate their husbands helping out at home, especially with the children. Western men are more interested in the upbringing of children, and are often keen to be involved with them. Attending school plays, sports events with their kids or helping with homework is a lot of fun and Western men seem to enjoy this much more than Thai men. It makes Thai women feel much more connected as a family if she lives with a Western men who actively gets involved with her and the kids.

These are just some of the many reasons why Thai Girls are keen on a relationship with a Western man. The often repeated stereotype that they just want financial security is simply not true. They usually get a lot more real love and respect from a Western man, and word among Thai Girls is spreading fast due to social media and internet forums that a relationship with a Farang (Western man) is much more fulfilling and guarantees more happiness in the long run.

If you think that a loving relationship with a Thai Girl may be for you, then I urge you to explore this opportunity and learn about their values and customs. Talk to Western men who are happily married to Thai girls, or get a head start by studying some of the excellent guides available on the internet.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Winner